Last month I noted that I received delivery of two sets of the new Fix It Sticks. I am only one person and I can't see the need to have two sets, so I am going to give the other set to a reader.
Brian, the inventor of Fix It Sticks suggested what I thought was a great idea - a fictional hair band name contest.
So readers, if you want to try to get the sticks, leave a comment with your fictional hair metal band name(s). Comment as many times as you please. Get out the hair spray and Kickstart your Heart.
Deadline to leave your comment is May 9th. Winner will be chosen with a beer in hand, hair as high as possible, and metal on the speakers . . . cranked to 10.
In case you wonder if I have the hair to back up my claim, here is your answer.
Fix It Sticks
Back in HS (in the 80s), some friends and I formed a fictional metal band and called it Klevaj. Our drummer was going to have two bass drums. We even had song names for 2 or 3 albums.
Posted by: monogodo | 04/30/2014 at 12:08 PM
My Rabbi has the sickest payot (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Payot). I think he would fit right in with my fictional hair metal band Motley Jew.
Posted by: Sam | 04/30/2014 at 01:29 PM
Coppertop Sea - an Irish drinking music infused hair metal band.
Double Diamond - they boast that they are "always as hard as diamonds."
Beach Kiss - surf rock influenced hair metal, surf boards and leather pants man.
Bleach - don't ask them what they're bleaching.
Tribal Screams - not many hair metal bands have a full drum circle.
The Strippers - these guys are all business with or without the suits.
Automatists - daft punk in cheetah tights?!
Kinky Mass - aside from the sexy nun back up singers, these guys are saints.
The Big Wind - traveling with a full brass section, who knew hair metal was better with a little ska?
Slotglass - find this raunchy bunch coming to a strip joint near you!
Diggity Derby - their vocalist kinda reminds me of quagmire from family guy.
before i have too much fun with this, i think i'll stop :D
Posted by: Garrett R | 04/30/2014 at 02:05 PM
Wish You were Her
Heels On Wheels
Cherry-Bomb-Revenge
Forget Me Knot
Posted by: Cody T. | 04/30/2014 at 02:27 PM
I've never lived in the time people were high on hairspray but my band would have been named ...
HEAIRY (marriage of hear and hair ;)
Regards!
Thomas
Posted by: De Smet Thomas | 04/30/2014 at 04:28 PM
Razör Reaper
Posted by: Chris | 04/30/2014 at 05:25 PM
well, of cause the band will be called
Druckerzeugerr.
Silly question...
Posted by: ninjaracing | 04/30/2014 at 06:10 PM
Maximum Control
Frizz
Wyld Dudez
Bad Touch
Posted by: Raiyn | 04/30/2014 at 11:18 PM
Lipstick Fix
Sex Bomb Boyzz
Dirty Kixx
(Bad spellings are, of course, intentional.)
Posted by: FK | 04/30/2014 at 11:47 PM
I would pick
"Maneinquin" lol
Posted by: Eric | 05/01/2014 at 02:31 AM
Metal Band Names:
Parental Advisory
Off Our Rokkers
Devil Horns
Posted by: Matt | 05/01/2014 at 10:53 AM
Broken Spokes
Posted by: Peter Davis | 05/01/2014 at 11:12 AM
Randoms:
"The Deathrow Rejects"
"Sparkle Dolls"
"S.P.A.N.K" (Spandex Perverts And Nightime Killers)
Bike related:
"The Mechs"
"Chainset"
"Saddle Sore"
"Wheels of Pain"
Posted by: James B | 05/01/2014 at 11:29 AM
Hot Mess
doubles as the name of a mixed pepper hot sauce
Posted by: shannon | 05/01/2014 at 12:17 PM
Kia Timberwolf and the Hairy Dogs
Posted by: Harry Allen | 05/01/2014 at 12:46 PM
"Derailer"
(misspelling of "derailleur" intentional)
"Chain Drive"
"Nine-Speed Cluster"
"Goes To Twelve"
(this band would be even better than 'Spın̈al Tap')
"Big Ring"
Posted by: "Bicycle Bill" | 05/01/2014 at 02:20 PM
Phisted Sizter!
Posted by: Essembee | 05/01/2014 at 06:48 PM
Dethride
Posted by: Mike | 05/01/2014 at 07:33 PM
Touch my handlebar
Posted by: Rune | 05/02/2014 at 07:05 AM
Another one:
CrankArmy (Always on overdrive...)
Posted by: James B | 05/02/2014 at 08:50 AM
We are the Walrii
Unicorn Babies in Hell
Wolfie and the Were-Wears
Posted by: Cale | 05/02/2014 at 05:08 PM
Emphatica
Posted by: Steve Barner | 05/05/2014 at 10:46 PM
Bike related of course....
VeloHammer.
Album title "Upright Position" on Grip Shift records.
Posted by: jakethesnake | 05/06/2014 at 10:56 PM
The Hair Band that found itself merging into Grunge/Alternative rock after the lead singer hurt his voice attempting Scream Metal. Introducing the "CRANK WEASELS"!!!!! Now hold those lighters high and wave them back and forth!!!!!!
Posted by: Stephen Watson | 05/07/2014 at 06:22 AM
Another one
Suicycle....album title "Forked up Headset"
Posted by: jakethesnake | 05/07/2014 at 09:02 AM