Dictionary of Bike Commuter Slang - Update Assistance

Reader Loki recently submitted a contribution to the Dictionary of Bike Commuter Slang. It is an appropriate time of year for new entries as the number of cyclists picks up as the temperatures rise.  I have pondered three new additions of my own, but have not been able to think up any creative terms.  I'd like reader input, but first here is what Loki wrote . . .

I know that I am a fairly big fan of military surplus stuff (b/c it's cheap and effective), and I've seen a few hacks on this site that suggest that there are other cyclists who are similarly attracted to military surplus. I wonder if it's a common enough thing to add to this list. perhaps "bicycle cavalry" would be a good term for this.

Excellent addition Loki.  Now for the three instancesI have encountered that I welcome readers to help coin.

1.  I witnessed two bike mounted police officers riding illegally on a sidewalk full of people. I love the thought of seeing more public servants on bikes, but seeing a law officer breaking a law made me cringe.  And it was not like it was a quick jump up on the sidewalk to avoid road construction or something, it was a full on patrol on a narrow sidewalk alongside a perfectly good road. 

2.  I was stopped at a crosswalk waiting for a light to change and another rider was next to me.  When the light turned green I slowly started to ride and the rider furiously pedaled by me, however he was unable to click one of his feet in to what were obviously his new clipless pedals.  He spent at least a half a mile pedaling fast with one foot to gain speed, and then coasted while he unsuccessfully tried to click in.  It was pretty funny, but I realize I was once there too =)

3. There has been a great deal of news recently about bike share programs and they seem to be springing up everywhere.  Overall I like the concept, however it seems that the vast majority of those I have encountered on the bikes do not seem all that prepared to ride bikes in an urban environment.  I make sure to give riders on these bikes space as they seem a bit more interested in looking anywhere but where they are actually riding. 

Those are some recent encounters I have had that have made me think, but I have been unable to come up with terms to match.  Reader comments are welcome, and remember, the dictionary is meant to laugh with people, not at them, as I have at one time or another fit at least half of the definitions listed =)

Other additions are always welcome.  And if you have seen something you need help naming, feel free to comment and readers can chime in. 

Comments

[Rob Loomis]

1. Officer Fred: n. bicycle-mounted police officer failing to follow traffic laws.

2. Cluipless: adj. describing a situation or accident caused by a cyclist who was unable to operate their clipless pedals.

3. Share Hazard/Share Hog: n. Person with no knowledge of cycling safety, rules, or etiquette who has decided to try out a bike share bicycle.

[TurbineBlade]

1. Turncloak - Officer Fred is good too.

2. Gene Kelly - due to the goofy "dance" performed with the legs trying to clip in.

3. Fresh fish/new fish/Trout -- borrowed from prison terminology for inexperienced person. I won't take it any further ;).

[Michael]

At least where I've lived at, the law often makes exceptions for police officers while on duty for some activities which would otherwise be illegal, e.g., riding bikes on sidewalks. In some situations, it is necessary that the bike officers actually be in the crowd. That said, I can see it is still a pet peeve for many of us who don't get special privileges.

[Erik]

1. Spwners - a combination of spawn (as in swimming upstream) and pwned.

2. Cliptastrophy

3. Velookers

I'll probably repost these new words on my new word blog, IP Fictionarium, as well.

[John Romeo Alpha]

1. Zigs
2. cleaticulous
3. velocinoobs

[Loki]

Wow. I had no idea that my suggestion would be so inspirational.

[Danno]

What happened to all the other comments? Many have disappeared.

[Loki]

Maybe "Salmon Patrol" for #1