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Uncle Beijing

Felon Bars: Traditional Drop Bars that have been reversed bull-horn-style on an ancient ten-speed being ridden by an individual who is obviously cycling because he is not allowed to drive any longer.


@ Uncle Bejing
We call those DUI specials. We also lump in those same individuals riding WalMarget MTB's with the bar ends rotated vertical.

Also @ Matt I'm getting an error message when I try to sign in. Been happening the last couple days.


Site is not registered: http://www.bikehacks.com/bikehacks/2010/03/dictionary-of-bike-commuter-slang.html


missing from the list:

KCs - bikes with way too many lights

as per:


Musher: A rider who is walking their dog at the same time. Sometimes they're holding the leash, sometimes the leash is attached to the bike.

Ghost Rider

This list is even better than I remember it...great stuff!


Zombies: people who cluelessly use the bike lane as an extension of the sidewalk.


Stud Muffin: A rider tearing it up in a fresh 2-3 inches of snow and ice, blasting aggressively through ridges in the snow, feeling invincible due to his studded tires.

The Yellow Submarine: A school bus driven by someone who has absolutely no concept of the length and height of the vehicle they are driving, and who took the part-time minimum wage gig of driving a school bus to earn a little extra money for pot.

Joe the Plumber: The driver of a utility truck who's out on a job and in a hurry, and who sees himself as a regular blue collar Joe, the natural enemy of the supposed "fancy-pants" cyclist type.

Hopscotch: When you pass a city bus that has stopped to pick up or drop off passengers, only to pass the same bus again a few blocks later at the next stop. Sometimes this game of hopscotch can go on for many miles.


The Goose: The driver who, even though they have 20 feet of clearance from the cyclist, will honk their horn, apparently for the sole purpose of announcing their existence.

The Tourist: The motorist who just drove into town from the suburbs, where bikes are a rarity. Upon spotting a bike on the street, they stop cold, mouth agape, unsure of what to do.

The Saturday Night Special: The drunk pedestrian.

Harry Read

Racing Stripes: seen on wet days, the line of mud/rain spatter up a rider's back whose bike lacks fenders.

The Chameleon: a biker who uses the crosswalks to turn left on a red. Annoying to pedestrians, unless they dismount. Also may ride intermittently on the sidewalk.

The Organ Donor: Helmet-less rider who cruises stop signs and red lights, requiring cross traffic to slow or stop.


Worse than the "So you think you're better than me" guy is the "So you think you're better than me" BUS. I get so tired of deciding whether to play leap-frog with a bus... or stay behind in the cloud of diesel fumes.


Chamois Ass - A weekend warrior on a road bike in full regalia who races from home to Starbucks.


Orphan: a small child in a helmet, often riding on a tag-along or in a trailer, and always in the company of an Organ Donor.


"the BIKE DORK": people who make up slang for other types of riders/ bikes. Its just a f____'n bike! Get a life and a cooler hobby.

biker helmets

lol with the pics


"motorbator" or "drive-by penis"
as a female rider, i have gotten a lot of weird sexual stuff directed at me over the past 16 years. motorbators are out there--dudes who masturbate while driving--usually in old beater cars that they pull up in alongside you just so you can take in the full glory of their erect man parts. i am not partial to anonymous penis, however, and usually will complain to friends about having been drive-by penised.


Another name for the Ninja is Suicide Commando, the guy that goes out salmoning on a rainy night after removing all reflectors, dressed all in black, he is on a mission he does not expect to return from.

Morton Thiokol

Brilliant, including the comments. Best actual LOL this month! Thanks. (I commute in NYC, so I have seen most every one of these.)

alfred klek

spandex army - (n.) a group of recreational cyclists riding together, all clad in spandex riding gear, in a cluster similar to or larger than the footprint of a city bus. Often seen chatting and laughing amongst themselves whilst oblivious to the line of 10 or more irate motorists stuck behind them.

alfred klek

brutus - (n.) a motorist with a bicycle rack who endangers the lives of cyclists on the road. (et tu brute?)


This is excellent, thanks for putting all of this together. I was trying to describe a "Nip" the other day, now I know I can say "a cross between a Euro and a Hipster". ...hmmm... perhaps my use of "Nip" should be a description on its own as it sort of introduces an attitude of absolute disdain... ie "That Nip of a rider"... For some reason it has more bite than "that Euro of a rider" or "that Hipster of a rider"...! After all, 'Ya have to keep it fun.

John Pitts

A Bike Salmon doesn't just ride against the flow on one-way streets, the term more often refers to a rider on the wrong side of a two-way street.

I've had a couple of Ninja Salmon (same thing, in the dark with no lights) nearly take me out on my morning commute.


Pavement raider: a cyclist who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to cycle at speed on the pavement/sidewalk with little regard given to the safety of pedestrians.


I'm sure some people don't wear bike helmets because they have a deathwish, but there are others who don't wear helmets because they've actually read the science that answers the question "Do helmets work?"

It's kind of sad that this piece includes so many cracks at helmetless riders--it starts to sound a bit like gay-bashing, and is about as grounded in fact.

Mark @ SPDShoes.org

Front-tyre surfer: pedestrian that insists on walking in the middle of the cycle path, oblivious.

Harry Brogan

""SPANDEX WARRIOR"" Someone that only breaks their expensive bike out on nice weekends, wears as much spandex as they possibly can, and complains when the "average" rider is in front of them. Often seen "taking a lane" when no one is around and, more often than not, refuses to use whatever bike route, path, or trail, that happens to be right next to them.

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